Shame, guilt, and blame!
Five years ago I made myself start therapy. It was one of the hardest things to make myself do. I was encouraged by a sermon our Pastor spoke of in church. Essentially he spoke of being "ALL IN" in everything you do in life; how you serve, how you love, and how you live should reflect the love of Christ to others. I was paralyzed in my seat when he preached this. I could NEVER be ALL IN because I was filled with too many secrets and I was broken. Who wants to have to see a therapist? What will I have to do? Am I just weak? Surely I can just get through this alone and with prayer. Who in their right mind wants to voluntarily talk about sexual abuse?! I had to! I spent 14 months of weekly/and sometimes biweekly therapy to try and heal. My beautiful therapist and I tackled the ugly, she pulled the secrets out of me, and I came to a place where I felt successful and healthy. Don't get me wrong! That year sucked and I had to see her off and on from time to time after t...