The black hole of 2018...
Goodbye 2018!! At the start of a new year, I try to reflect back on the year that is ending, hopefully feeling proud of some accomplishments and growth. If I'm honest, I have to say that I just survived one of the hardest years to date. There's not a lot of obvious reasons for me to be really proud of. There are, however, many ways God carried me through each and every day. On May 11th, 2018 I started my work day as always but quickly became completely and utterly consumed and swallowed up with my depression from my childhood abuse. I didn't want to fight, I didn't want to do therapy, I didn't want to take medicine, I didn't want to face it any more. I found myself on the bathroom floor wanting to exit this earth. I was anxious and shaking. Everything was too hard, too exhausting, and caused too much anxiety. It was too difficult, too heavy, too consuming and too depressing. I told myself that my life was not worth the fight, my kids deserved better, a...