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Weeks ago when I was at my lowest, I had some time between one mental health appointment and another. I knew of a very tranquil place off of Essen that was peaceful, quiet, and beautiful. I found myself on the front porch of an old historic home overlooking a beautiful yard, fresh with new spring blooms, fountains, and walking paths. I did some reading, praying, and thinking on the porch and decided to take a walk in the yard. My mind was calm and relaxed for a change, and I felt God's presence. I think I walked around for about 30 minutes and on my way back to the porch, there it was. My next step would have been on a very large snake in the grass, right in the middle of the yard. My next move was to high-step it quickly to the porch while saying, "Oh God, Oh God, Oh God". I had to calm down enough to watch it sliver away in a brushy flower bed. I absolutely needed to know which direction it went in so I wouldn't stumble on it again. Yuck, I hate snakes - any kind.
Looking back on that day, I have to smile at what actually happened there. I was completely surrounded by God's beauty, peace, and tranquility. I felt calm and a bit relaxed for the first time in a while - and Satan slivered in and tried to ruin it. He tried, but didn't succeed. A few weeks later, this location is actually where I had the conversation with my youngest son about my abuse. Suck it, Satan!
He will try to kill, steal, and destroy anyone and everything he can get his dirty hands on. He might have raised my blood pressure and pulse that day, but he didn't overcome me.
I heard two very good phrases from two beautiful people this past week...
- Everyone has a cross to bear
- In a world where you can be anything, be KIND
I will never think that my sexual abuse trumps other people's challenges. Ever. This world is broken. We all have our "cross to bear". I started brainstorming on the difficulties people face day in and day out and it's truly sad.
Mental illness
Sexual abuse
Cancer
Alzheimers
Autism
Rebellious teenagers
Divorce
Affairs
Widows
Chronic illness
Poverty
Addictions
Organ donation/recipients
Rape
Death of a loved one unexpectedly
Adoption
Special needs kids
Loneliness
Child deaths
Homelessness
Miscarriages/stillborns
These are just a few examples that can rock someone to the core and change their life forever. These are common things your community, family and friends are dealing with daily. It's an unfortunate or challenging "club" to be in and takes lots of strength and perseverance to carry on. Soooo, with that said, please remember that EVERYONE has a cross to bear. In a world where you can be anything, be KIND. It truly matters and truly makes a difference.
When you find yourself complaining about how Starbucks didn't get your coffee right or Waitr is taking too long to deliver your food, remember that these are First world problems and so many people are dealing with heavier issues. Am I guilty of complaining, ABSOLUTELY! Am I speaking to myself as well, DEFINITELY! This trial of mine has taught me so much. Don't sweat the small stuff ~ Appreciate simple things ~ love big ~ notice God's beauty- it's everywhere ~ friends and family are everything!!
Don't let the snake bite you, succumb you, and change you. He tries daily, hourly, and is a nuisance. I've been fighting him off daily for a while now. Encourage each other. Get help when necessary. We ALL need it. Be kind.
Much love to all.
