Friday, April 27, 2018

Iron sharpens Iron...

Since I started this blog, I have been blown away by the amount of  private messages, responses, letters, and conversations I have had with people who can relate. They are either victims themselves, mothers of victims, relatives of victims, or friends of victims. It's mind blowing!!! 

My therapist has stressed to me for 5 years that I have tremendous strength. I've never felt it. Still struggle with believing this. 

With that said, I do not hesitate to believe that all who have reached out to me, as victims, are some of the strongest people I know. There's not an inkling of doubt in my mind that you ARE strong and have tremendous strength! It's easy to see strength in others. Maybe it's the self doubt that sexual abuse victims carry mentally for so long that doesn't allow us to see our own strength? I'm not sure. 

As a nurse, confidentiality is one of the most important things to consider for our patients.  We are required to maintain privacy and are bound to a professional code of ethics not to share private information about anyone we take care of without permission. 
Well, as myself and a nurse who is off duty, I feel the same way. Those of you who have reached out to me have taught me sooooo much. Without naming names or giving any indication as to who sent me things, I'd like to share some profound phrases and thoughts from other victims, family members, and friends that were sent to me over the last few months.

"My dad was evil"
"I have secrets too"
"I try to just endure my battles"
"I've hid my abuse all of my life"
"It's a constant, daily survival game"
"I feel incredibly helpless"
"It's just hard getting through life"
"As her mother, I feel helpless and afraid"
"The damage is life long"
"Everything came crashing down"
"I find myself in a scary, dark place"
"I blame myself"
"I have silent rage!"
"I was shaking with fear and I couldn't breathe"
"I thought he was my friend"
"My wife was abused"
"When you are hurt by evil, it hurts your relationship with God"
"I trusted him"
"I have so many hidden, dark secrets"
"I keep thoughts all bottled up inside"
"I was raped and I have so much childhood baggage"
"I'm in my 50's and I still haven't told my parents"
"Sexual abuse is a deep cause of our marital problems"
"I've had so many dysfunctional relationships"
"I suffer from depression, shame and guilt"
"He was sent to prison and we are trying to move on"

"My parents did nothing"
"The allegations were dismissed"
"I was sworn to secrecy" 
"He was an upstanding, church going individual"
"We will remain silent to protect his family and reputation"
"Lots of times, abusers were people who pretended to love God"
"Is it really a crime?"
"We will try and keep the peace. We will not create drama"
"We don't want to shatter lives or devastate family members"
"We don't want him to go to prison"
"It was just one isolated event"

Maybe you can relate to one of these phrases? Maybe you can recognize your phrase? Maybe you are realizing for the first time, that you are really NOT alone? These phrases can be wonderful, painful, or inspiring to you. I've been humbled by them. I commend your bravery for speaking out! We can all be an advocate for each other. Lord knows everyone needs a little motivation and encouragement daily.

"God doesn't expect you to do more than Him"
"What the devil meant for evil, God will use for good"
"Be kind to yourself"
"You were created to be victorious"
"Be brave"

I'd like to think that this blog entry was truly written by my beautiful friends who were brave enough to share their struggles with me. Your statements and truths are profoundly eye-opening and healing. You are not alone in this battle. I continue to stress to you that I will continue to pray for you and your healing until the day I die. 

Proverbs 27:17 ~ As Iron sharpens Iron, so one person sharpens another.

Shine bright, be a light!

NO, I don't have a cigarette!!!

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