Oh my soul...
Highs and lows, ups and downs, good moods and bad moods, uncertainty and peace, talkative and withdrawn, good dreams and bad dreams, faith reminders and abuse triggers, patience and impatience, trusting and not trusting, communicating and not communicating, true smiles to fake smiles, being truly present to pretending, believing and not believing, seeing an end to no end in sight. It's tiring. Everything listed above relates to some aspect of life. All people struggle with something. I struggle with sexual abuse. I'm sitting here typing this in my comfortable house with my fur-babies nearby. I look outside at a beautiful yard just the way my husband and I want it to be. There are cows grazing and family estates surrounding me. Life is a pretty picture and I should be content but I'm fully aware that the devil is controlling me and winning right now. He attacks the vulnerable and broken. I've pretended that I'm not "broken" for a long time now. But ...