Thursday, March 29, 2018

Some grey hair and pill boxes but...

I went to my workplace today to turn in some paperwork and fulfill some pending duties for my return to work. I saw some beautiful faces and received some sweet hugs. I'm still lacking in feeling comfortable in my own skin.  I found myself taking the halls less traveled and praying that my stress hormones would stay in check.  I love my job, my co-workers/friends/bosses, and work environment. It's frustrating that I felt awkward, sweaty-lol, and embarrassed...but I did it. The next time will be easier, and the next, and the next, and the next. Vulnerability is hard. 
If I saw you today at the hospital, God did that. For some reason, I was supposed to see your sweet face today :-) You gave me strength - thank you.

I found my way back to the health club this week. I'm still having trouble getting from a seated to a standing position because I am sooooo sore but I did that too. I sat in my car for 10 minutes in the parking lot before I worked the nerve to walk in. I did though and as soon as I can walk well again without hurting, I'll go back - ha!  Did I mention that being exposed and being vulnerable is hard? It is.
Eventually I will own my story and throw my shoulders back and celebrate a victory. In the meantime, I'm humbled and happy to get out of bed, shower up, get dressed, and be productive the best way I know how. 

I may have a pill box on my nightstand and I've noticed a few more grey hairs this month but... being carded at the Daiquiri place tonight helped and made my day - haha. A daiquiri goes great with an LSU baseball game on the TV for Thursday night entertainment. 

I have to remind you that if you are struggling with similar burdens and difficult situations, you are not alone. You may feel alone but you are NOT alone. So many have reached out to me privately and I want you to know that I am whole-heartedly praying for your victory and peace. It sucks, it's hard, it's messy, and it's exhausting. I'm praying!! Sexual abuse is like voo-doo. It's ignored, not talked about, and makes people uncomfortable. I may not have all the right words for you, but you definitely have my prayers and support. 

Did you see the sunset tonight? Breathtaking!  I believe that God was showing off a bit.  It was a nice reminder that He is in charge! All of the time!  God bless!

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